The Revenge of the Radioactive Lady by Elizabeth Stuckey-French

Author:Elizabeth Stuckey-French
Language: eng
Format: mobi, epub, pdf
Tags: Fiction:Humor
ISBN: 9780385534031
Publisher: Knopf Doubleday Publishing Group
Published: 2011-02-08T10:00:00+00:00

Suzi was acting strange, like her personality had changed when she hurt her knee. She actually started being nice to Ava.

“Come to church with me and Nance,” she told Ava. “Please, Sissy? The minister wants to meet you.”

Sissy? This was one of Suzi’s tricks, but what part about it was the trick? “Why?” Ava asked her.

“I told him so much about you, that’s why.” Suzi was acting all hyper and shifty, swinging around on her crutches. She kept bugging Ava, following her around, pleading with her, until finally Ava said okay.

And that’s how Ava came to be sitting in Genesis Church, which was next to the dollar movie theater, where Ava would rather be, watching Akeelah and the Bee. At least at the movies there was only one screen to watch.

Suzi sat on one side of her and Nance on the other. Most everyone else was standing up, swaying with their eyes closed, singing a song about the wind bending a tree in a hurricane. What did that have to do with God?

“There he is,” Suzi said, elbowing her, pointing at one of the screens.

“Ouch,” Ava yelled, pushing Suzi away. Ever since Suzi was little, she’d poked Ava, prodded her, yelled in her ear, tried to hug and kiss her, anything she knew that Ava didn’t want her to do; and then when Ava pushed her away she acted hurt, even went running to their mother, crying about how she was only trying to be nice to Ava and how mean Ava was and so on.

Now, though, Suzi didn’t react to the push. She even leaned closer to Ava. “There he is,” she said again, pointing to the people singing up on the stage. “That guy in the middle, the tall one, who looks like Orlando Bloom. That’s Buff. The minister who wants to meet you.”

Ava said in her regular voice, refusing to whisper. “He doesn’t look like Orlando Bloom. Why does he want to meet me?”

“He just does,” Suzi said, making a “duh” face. She knew more, but she wasn’t telling.

Nance scooted closer to Ava, too. Now Ava was in the middle of a human sandwich, being pressed into a pulp. “What are you talking about?” nosy old Nance asked her.

“Nothing,” Ava said, and knew she’d sounded rude but didn’t care. She didn’t like Nance, even though everyone else in her family did. Ever since they’d gone to have those pictures taken and Nance had used reverse psychology on her to get her to pose naked, she didn’t trust the woman. So, basically, she was in the middle of two untrustworthy pieces of bread. A pressed liar sandwich.

Nance leaned past Ava and repeated her question to Suzi. The two of them were BFFs. “I was just showing her Buff,” Suzi explained to Nance.

The head minister—a roundish, baldish, friendly-looking man—jumped onto the stage, and the congregation finally sat down and collected itself, and he began talking, welcoming everyone on that fine summer morning.

It would’ve been okay if Suzi hadn’t added, “Buff wants to meet Ava.

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